Undoing Co-Dependence

Do you have someone in your life who you are always seeking approval from? Do you find yourself becoming uncomfortable or upset if someone else is? Do you need others to feel happy or ‘okay’ in order for you to feel happy or okay?

If you answered yes to any of these, you may be co-dependant on other people.

But what is co-dependency exactly?

In a nutshell, co-dependency is a dysfunctional relationship where one person is always seeking the approval of the other person, and often putting the other person’s needs before of their own needs, even if by doing so it causes harm to their own wellbeing.

In a sense, co-dependency is one person’s emotional reliance on another person – i.e., they can’t live without that person’s love and approval.

You may be co-dependent if:

  • You find yourself always trying to please people
  • You don’t confront your friend/partner when they do something that bothers you
  • You define your own self-worth by what others think of you
  • You ignore other’s flaws, such as, dishonesty, possessiveness, or jealousy
  • You give too much to the relationship and put other’s needs above your own wellbeing
  • You have troubles saying no or disagreeing
  • You stay in a relationship even though the person is “distant”
  • You find yourself making excuses/denying that that someone’s behavior and/or actions are “that bad”
  • You find another person’s behavior or beliefs are controlling your behavior or beliefs
  • You find yourself getting madder about things that happen to others than you do about things that happen to you

Co-dependencies that we specialize in helping people with:

  • Marital relationships
  • Intimate relationships
  • Friendship relationships
  • Family relationships
  • Work relationships

How we approach co-dependence counseling

We believe that undoing co-dependence is much the same type of process as one goes through to recover from addiction, because in a sense, co-dependency is an emotional addiction to someone else’s approval or wellbeing.

The first step we take in helping you recover from your co-dependency is to welcome you into our, warm, comfortable and supportive atmosphere, which is personalized to your individual needs. In this atmosphere, we encourage conversation and through this conversation we help the you see your co-dependency and the impact it is having on your life.

Once you have acknowledged your co-dependency, your therapist will work with you to determine where it stems from – often co-dependant behavior stems from something that happened in one’s childhood, like growing up in a home with abuse or alcoholism.

Once you understand your co-dependency and where it originated from, we work with you to build up your self-esteem, helping you see that it is okay to do things for yourself and that it is okay to disagree with people.

Undoing co-dependency at Bluestone Psychological Services

Take the next step to overcome your co-dependency. Things can get better, and we invite you to speak with us.

For more information or a phone consultation:
Call: 425.775.4059 Text: (425) 409-9336 Email: gethelp@bluestoneps.com 

 

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