Parents, if you are reading this right now, pat yourself on the back; you and your child have successfully survived the first month of remote learning. So, what has worked for you with supporting your kids and keeping them accountable? Are you scratching your head right now struggling to answer that question? Maybe the first month was a blur and you can’t quite place what you did that worked? If that is the case, please know that you are not alone. Here are some ideas to try:

1. Give positive feedback

Just as parent’s are struggling with learning the ins and outs of remote learning so are the teachers and students. Now is a time for us all to remember to give grace and also praise.

• Everyone loves to hear they are doing a good job.
• Please remember to give encouragement through words of validation such as, “I see you took the initiative to post your question in science today. Just like raising your hand in class in front of everyone can feel embarrassing and be hard for you, you took that risk to ask your question and you got your question answered. Looks like that worked out well for you!”
• If you have not already, remember to thank your child and your child’s support team for their hard work.
• Also, remember to give yourself grace. You are also doing an amazing, great job stepping out of your comfort zone!

2. Reward/Reinforce positive choices/behaviors

Token economy is a longstanding, tried and true method for motivating children who are struggling to stay motivated. And it can be said, this works for adults too! For example, what do you look forward to after a long day? It might be watching an episode from your favorite TV show or maybe getting lost in a good book. We all have things we look forward to and reward ourselves with. What things seem to motivate your child?

A token economy is something you, the parent, set up. It will represent your values, the unique characteristics/interests of your child, and what will work for your family.

• Consider a reinforcer (like 10 extra minutes of video play or social media time; getting to select the family movie this week; extra use of the car; a trip to the park to work on their batting or pitching skills; gets to pick the vegetable for dinner, etc.
• In the token economy, if your child has worked hard at school all day (or on a particularly difficult class subject, or got all their assignments in, etc.), then perhaps they can earn a reinforcer of their choice (or strictly yours, depending on how you want to set it up).

This can be tricky though. Some kids are in the mindset that if they don’t do a good job they will lose their screen time. The goal is to reverse that thought process – for both the child and for yourself. For example, if a child works hard and completes his/her assigned tasks for the day he/she has “earned” screen time. It’s all in the deliverance!

3. Fidget baskets

Kids don’t always do well sitting in one spot all day and need breaks. One way to help kids during their break time may be to have a fidget basket nearby. A fidget basket can be simply a couple of items and does not need to be expensive.

Some of my favorite items include:

• a stress ball
• a deep breathing pin-wheel
• putty

Another great idea for getting wiggles out are the Go Noodle videos on You Tube. You may find that your child is already familiar with these videos. That is because educators have found them to be very successful for transitioning activities. The idea is to Go Noodle and then go back to work.

4. A scheduled day

You won’t find many children that agree with this statement, but I am going to say it anyway. Children thrive in a structured environment! Please know your child’s schedule and be prepared to remind them. This may be done with a dry erase board set up next to their work station that lists their schedule for the day and/or assignment that need to be completed.

5. Correspondence with the teachers

Yes, email your child’s teacher if you have questions! Teachers appreciate parents who advocate for their child. Please keep in close correspondence with your child’s teacher to support both your child and your child’s team.

6. A positive mindset

Remote learning has been quite the journey for all of us and keeping a positive mindset is important! Remember we are all in this together. Our children are not just learning how to work remotely, they are also learning how to cope in stressful situations. So it is important to remember that they are looking to us for guidance and modeling the behaviors they see. If we are keeping a positive mindset, they will be influenced by that. So how do we do that? I am glad you asked!! This leads me to my last (and favorite) bit of advice!

7. Encourage positive coping skills

How do you cope when feeling triggered? Do you take deep breaths, practice mindfulness, take a break, talk to a supportive family member or friend? Here are I few that I would recommend trying with your child:

Stuffed animal breathing

Your child sits one of his/her favorite stuffed animals on his/her belly and watches it go up and down while taking deep breaths in and out.

Using “I” statements

Encourage your child to tell how he or she is feeling in an “I” statement. For example, “I feel ______ and I need _____.” Help your child find the words to express their feelings with emotion words like, ‘afraid or ‘frustrated; body sensations words like, ‘restless’ or ‘tired’, and come up with good solutions like, I need to ‘tell you about it’ or ‘go for a run’ or ‘email my tutor for help.’

Balloon breaths

Your child imagines he/she has a balloon in their belly and fills it up with air, then releases.

Muscle Relaxation Bear hugs

Your child squeezes his/her favorite large stuffed animal is hard as he/she can for 5 seconds and then releases, and repeats 3-5 times to release tension and relax muscles.

I hope some of these ideas help. If you need more, please remember that we are here to help!