It’s no secret that recent events have left us more divided than we’ve been in quite some time. From the great mask debate and heated political arguments to fighting over the last package of toilet paper, 2020 has brought plenty of opportunities for conflict.
As we look forward to a new year, many of us are also looking for ways to heal and to start loving one another once again. If you’re not quite sure how to do this, you’re not alone. The following tips will help you get started.
Extend an Olive Branch
If you’ve had a rift with a family member or friend over social distancing, politics, or some other recent issue, extending an olive branch is the first step to moving forward. Depending on the relationship and the nature of the argument, it could be something as simple as sending a text that says “I hate fighting with you. Can we have lunch and talk?”
Before you do this, though, make sure your mindset is right for truly making up. If you’re still holding onto bitter feelings or you go into it with the intention of proving you were right, things aren’t likely to end well.
Keep an Open Mind
It’s completely fine to have deep convictions. However, most topics aren’t as black and white as you might think. If you can, try to approach others with an open mind and a willingness to listen to their side. While they may not convince you to change your opinion, at least you’ll have a better understanding of why they feel the way they do. This is often the first step to learning how to get along, even if you don’t agree.
Agree to Disagree
There will be times when you find that you and someone you care about are on completely opposite sides with no room for compromise. If you don’t want to sacrifice your relationship, then it’s best to simply agree to disagree. Tell the person that you love them and, for the sake of your relationship, you think it’s best not to discuss that topic. Then stick with it! If you stop poking each other, eventually the rift will heal and things will get back to the way they were before.
This approach helps with acquaintances and strangers as well. If you hear someone discussing an opinion you disagree with, ask yourself whether engaging with them will really make any difference. It’s often best to hold onto your inner peace by staying quiet and just letting it go.
Take it Slow
Many of the conflicts that have arisen this year are based on deep-seated values. The hurt may run deep, and it may take time to heal. Be patient and try not to push too hard. If your friend or family member needs some space, give it to them — but don’t give up. Commit to reaching out periodically, offering to meet for lunch, or a drink, or just chatting over text.
Always Be Kind
Above all, focus on being kind. Think before you speak, and if you can’t say something kind or helpful, consider staying silent. Try giving others the benefit of the doubt, judging less, and looking for ways to spread joy. Random acts of kindness can go a long way and a positive attitude is contagious.
If you want to see a change in the world, start with yourself. When this is all over (and, eventually, it will be) you’ll be a driving force in helping us all get back to civility so we have the ability to love one another once again.