Follow Trauma Through the Ages

Track the Trauma Response and Learn the Tips

By Bluestone Psychological Services

What A Traumatic Situation Is Like for a Young Child

For a young child to be in traumatic situations feels totally helpless and passive. They can cry for help or desperately wish for someone to intervene. They can feel deeply threatened by separation from parents or caretakers. Young children rely on a “protective shield” provided by adults and older siblings. They use this to judge the seriousness of danger and to ensure their safety and welfare. They often don’t recognize a traumatic danger until it happens, for example, in a near drowning, attack by a dog, or accidental scalding.

What a Traumatic Situation is Like for School-age Children

School-age children start to face additional dangers, with more ability to judge the seriousness of a threat and to think about protective actions. They usually do not see themselves as able to counter a serious danger directly, but they imagine actions they wish they could take, like those on their streaming apps. They may also feel very ashamed or guilty. They may be without their parents or guardians when something traumatic happens, either on their own or with friends at school or in the neighborhood. Sexual molestation occurs at the highest rate among this age group. School-age children get scared of the speeding up of their emotions and physical reactions, adding new fears to the danger from outside.

What a Traumatic Situation is Like for an Adolescent

With the help of their friends, adolescents begin a shift toward more actively judging and addressing dangers on their own. With independence, adolescents can be in more situations that can turn from danger to trauma. Driving, sexual encounters, community violence, loss of friends just to name a few. During traumatic situations, adolescents make decisions about whether and how to intervene, and about using violence to counter violence. They can feel guilty, sometimes thinking their actions made matters worse. They are also learning more about human motivation and intent and struggle over issues of irresponsibility, malevolence, and human accountability.

Posttraumatic Stress Responses

There are three core groups of posttraumatic stress reactions.

1. We continue to have upsetting images and thoughts of what happened. We can also have nightmares. We have strong physical and emotional reactions to reminders that are often part of our daily life. We may have a hard time distinguishing new, safer situations from the traumatic situation we already went through.
2. We may try our best to avoid any situation, person, or place that reminds us of what happened, fighting hard to keep the thoughts, feelings, and images from coming back.
3. Our bodies may continue to stay “on alert.” We may have trouble sleeping, become irritable or easily angered, startle or jump at noises more than before, have trouble concentrating or paying attention, and have recurring physical symptoms, like headaches or stomachaches.

How Development Influences Posttraumatic Stress Responses

School-age Children. The post-trauma responses of school-age children include a wider range of intrusive images and thoughts. They think about lots of frightening moments during their traumatic experiences. They also go over what could have stopped it from happening and what could have made it turn out differently.

Adolescents. They may interpret their reactions as signs of “going crazy,” of being weak, or of being different from everyone else. They may be embarrassed by bouts of fear and exaggerated physiological responses. They may harbor the belief that they are unique in their pain and suffering. These reactions may result in a sense of personal isolation. Grief reactions, however painful, are often easier for them to understand and accept than posttraumatic stress reactions.

While younger children may use play, adolescents may respond to their experience through dangerous reenactment behavior, that is, by reacting with too much “protective” aggression for a situation at hand. Their behavior in response to reminders can go to either of two extremes: reckless behavior that endangers themselves and others, or extreme avoidant behavior that can derail their adolescent years. The avoidant life of an adolescent may go unnoticed. Adolescents can try to get rid of post-trauma emotions and physical responses through the use of alcohol and drugs. Sleep disturbance is common and may be hidden by late night binge watching or doom scrolling.

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Trauma Changes the Way the Brain Functions

Learn 4 Quick Tips to Stem the Change

In a general sense when trauma occurs the first thing we tell people are to gather a support network. Find people they feel they can trust and talk to. Make sure they ARE talking to people and not holding their feelings in. Take time away from work/school/responsibilities if needed. Trauma changes the way a brain functions on a day to day basis. It engages the body’s natural “fight or flight” response. When this occurs, we “react normally to abnormal situations”. Basically, our body tells us there is danger and we react the way our body would in danger. The problem is, there usually is no danger after the trauma occurs. Our senses are heightened and we are triggered by things that would not previously have triggered us. We need to take time to figure out what these triggers are and how we are responding to them. People will all respond differently. If someone is still struggling to return to “normal” after a few weeks, I would recommend seeking therapy from a trained trauma professional.

Social support is the number one buffer that I see that helps with healing through a trauma. That’s why its so amazing to see the community coming together and supporting each other during this time. This includes reaching out when there is a need, whether this is to a loved one or a trained therapist, seeking out a trusted other who can offer support is one of the most valuable coping mechanisms someone can use (this can mean talking about the trauma, but doesn’t necessarily have to, can be the act of having someone to be there with you through the pain and crisis). The most important factor here is a feeling of safety, as trauma disrupts one’s ability to feel safe in the world.

Trauma Change Tips

Other mechanisms to help someone feel a sense of safety are grounding/mindfulness practices that help get you back into the present moment. This helps shift the focus back to what is going on both inside of you and around you in the present moment. Focusing on breathing and incorporating your 5 senses can be helpful, as well as saying a grounding statement to yourself, such as “I’m scared because the past is coming in, but I’m safe now.” This helps your body and mind integrate in the present moment.

1. Talk about it. Work to express yourself with those around you; talk about your point of view, ask others about their experiences with the event, and remain open and willing to talk. This will facilitate a sense of community and understanding, and continue to allow your mind to process the events.
2. Allow your emotions to run its course. Whether it is shock, tears, fear, anger, etc, allow yourself to experience the emotion rather than suppress it. Giving yourself a cathartic release is necessary in trauma and coping. Work to normalize your emotions and welcome them rather than run from them.
3. Remember there is no one size fits all for traumatic grief. Some may not process for months, some may process immediately. Some may shut down, some may get active and involved. Each person reacts in their own individual way, so work to accept your unique reaction.
4. Seek professional help if needed. Whether you witnessed a trauma or not, it is more and more understood that indirect victims of trauma often suffer similar effects as those directly involved. Don’t negate your emotions or traumatic responses just because you “weren’t there”. Often times, whether we were directly or indirectly involved, there is a need for processing of the event in order to minimize the amount of long term struggle you could encounter. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. If the idea of a meeting with a therapist has crossed your mind, listen to it.

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