Be. Here. Now.

A better view of things through distress tolerance

By Bluestone Psychological Services

DBT skills aren’t meant to stop or slow emotional intensity. They have been developed to tolerate strong emotions. “My emotions change so drastically, it actually scares me sometime”. It’s not an uncommon phrase heard throughout the friendly, safe therapy offices of Bluestone Psychological. It’s scary, nerve wracking, and even disappointing when our emotions seem to be controlling us. The roller coaster is hard to get off and confusion starts to set in. Relationships deteriorate and our impulse action increase.

There is a way to start taking back control through the cognitive behavioral intervention type called dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). Today we would like to talk to you and maybe even introduce you to one element of DBT called Mindfulness.  It is a way to calm yourself, live more skillfully, accept your emotions, and stay in the present moment.

DBT Skills to start practicing

Try a few of these mindfulness skills at home and see how you do:

• Listen to Your Breath: Slowly, steadily begin to track the cadence of your breathing. Notice any sounds it makes, how it expands your chest, how it feels exhaling across your lips. Don’t adjust it in anyway, but observe its presence. Note how it changes over time.
• Observe and Describe: Take a common day item like a chair or a notebook and describe it without using their labels (e.g. “chair” or “notebook”), without using your interpretation of its function, and without judgment. Focus on details like color, shape, feel.
• Body Sense: Wherever you are sitting, note each place your body is touching what you are sitting on. Feel the pressure on these body parts. Sense the coolness or heat along the line where your body stops touching and is exposed to the air. Notice how your skin feels against your shirt or pants.
• Tolerate Distress: Our intolerance can increase the intensity of our thoughts and feelings. Allowing your emotions to ebb and flow, rise and fall, with less judgment can be an approach to difficult feelings.

These quick exercises are just practice skills to help you pull out of the past, wait for the future and live in the present. Our present moment is often our best. It is our fear of the future, or the overwhelming concept of being upset all the time that scares us.

If these quick skills are not enough to help your strong feelings, consider counseling and therapy. For more help and a supportive guide through your emotions, contact us at Bluestone Psychological Services, LLC. We can connect you to a friendly, caring therapist to start your change process.