From Summer to School: Transitioning Back to the School Year

4 Tips to Make It Easier

By Bluestone Psychological Services

Making the change from carefree summer days to the structured weeks of the school year can be difficult for both teenagers and parents. With the new school year right around the bend, here are some tips about how to make the transition a little easier on your family:

1. Maintain a positive attitude about the summer coming to an end. Your teen may be pretty upset about trading in the pool, video games, and time with friends for classrooms, exams, and homework. It’s important for parents to help in portraying this change as something positive. Remember, they likely feed from your emotional energy. Staying positive is important, even though parents will miss the summertime, too. Make “back to school” shopping a fun and exciting experience. Think of an enjoyable (but easy) breakfast for the first day back to school. Remind your kid to reconnect with classroom friends even before school begins.
2. Ask about your teen’s worries and help them work through those concerns. Help your child brainstorm through ways to handle the things which cause them worry. This is not about solving the problem for them, but about giving them the tools to generate ideas. Build their confidence and understanding that they are able to solve problems.
3. Begin restructuring your days at least a week in advance of the first day of school. For the past two months, your teen has probably been more loosely regulated on things such as mealtimes, bedtimes, screen time and reacting to distractions. Creating consistency in routine before the return to school will help them be able to sleep better. This could help them be more in control of their impulses in those first days and weeks back in the classroom. We recommend gradually moving back bedtimes and wake times, in increments as small at 10 or 15 minutes per day, to get teens ready for the upcoming early mornings.
4. Get reacquainted with the activities calendar. Begin looking at sports schedules, family calendars and extracurricular activities calendars with your teen. Get them familiar with their new schedule. Focus on who will be home when and what transportation routines will be in place. Clear expectations reduce anxiety and worry.

Other helpful tips:

• Have a dedicated homework space
• Create an organized place for backpacks, instruments, sports gear, and other things that might need to be taken to school daily.
• Remove phones and tablets from bedrooms at night

Know and accept this is a stressful time for many families. One day at a time and things will fall into place as the school year begins. Creating a climate of preparation can help, and being on board with empowering your teen through these changes will allow the transition to happen more smoothly.

If your teenager is having more difficulty transitioning than you expected, give us a call. Our compassionate yet firm therapists can help them with their stress. 

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Add’l content by

David A Morris, LCSW

Jamie Cocuzzi, LPC

 

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Here’s more information on Back-to-School changes.

1.  Bullying

From threatening violence and stealing lunch money to spreading vicious rumors, kids have always been faced with bullying. In today’s online world, however, the problem has reached a whole new level. Cyberbullying can occur around the clock, meaning that children find it difficult to escape, even when they’re “safe” at home.

With school back in session, children are more likely to experience bullying in the coming months. Signs of bullying are often hard to identify but if your child is experiencing bullying, you may notice your child being:

• More moody than usual or more sensitive to perceived slights from others and
• Wanting to avoid certain situations where the incidents are likely to occur  (like riding the bus). They often develop
• Symptoms of anxiety or stress like complaining of an upset stomach, not eating or sleeping well, losing interest in things they used to enjoy.

As a parent, avoid the urge or impulse to brush bullying off as something kids need to “tough out.” Out of fear, embarrassment, or just lack of understanding that bullying is happening, your child may deny experiencing bullying when you ask so try to initiate conversations in a roundabout way. When the child does open up stay calm, listen, and offer support and comfort. Praise the child for confiding in you and address the situation immediately with school officials. It’s important to stay on top of this situation until you’re sure it’s been fully resolved.

2.  Anxiety

Anxiety is a struggle that affects both adults and children of any age. It happens when a natural reaction to stress escalates to more severe levels. Children with anxiety often:

• Have frequent meltdowns
• May appear agitated and restless
• May want to avoid going to school or other places away from trusted adults
• Have difficulty focusing
• Complain of stomach or headaches or just not feeling well; may change eating habits
• May have sleep problems including insomnia, nightmares, night terrors, and sleepwalking.

Parents and teachers often mistake symptoms of anxiety for behavior problems. If your child has meltdowns when getting ready for school or teachers report that they’re having behavioral issues during the day, consider that anxiety may be the cause.

When dealing with a child who is suffering from an anxiety disorder, it’s critical to really listen and respond with empathy. Understand the child’s triggers and make appropriate changes to address them. Sometimes simple changes like limiting the number of after-school activities and teaching the child deep breathing exercises are enough to help ease the worst of the symptoms.

It’s important to ensure that the child’s teachers are aware of the issue and given instructions for dealing with it. When the child’s anxiety doesn’t appear to lessen, it’s critical to seek professional advice.

3. Learning Difficulties

Learning disabilities can be difficult to pinpoint, as this can look very different from one child to the next.  With the new school year just starting, many children will face challenges. It’s important to monitor their academic progress and take note when things don’t seem right. Children with learning disabilities may struggle with reading, math, writing, listening, speaking, or reasoning.

Parents must understand that learning disabilities aren’t a problem with motivation or intelligence. These kids aren’t “lazy” or “dumb,” their brains are just wired differently. Noticing that a child is struggling and seeking help from trained specialists as early as possible are the keys to setting a learning-disabled child up for success.

4.  Parental Separation

When parents separate or divorce, it’s difficult for everyone involved. Children living through this transition often feel sad, lonely, stressed, and confused. Sometimes they’ll feel angry and other times they may blame themselves. Events such as field trips, parent/teacher interviews or simply birthday parties with classmates can heighten your child’s awareness of their new family dynamic.

Parents dealing with a separation must remember that the child’s entire world is being turned upside down and he or she is powerless to do anything about it. While the situation is always disruptive to a child’s life, parents can help reduce the child’s distress by reassuring them that the situation is not their fault and both parents will continue to remain active in their lives.

Make your child’s wellbeing your top priority and do your best to provide stability by providing routines, avoiding fighting in front of the child, and encouraging your child to freely express his or her feelings during this difficult time.

If your child is having behavior or performance problems at school, communicate with the child’s teacher and explain what’s going on at home. Although it may feel awkward, having this conversation can allow teachers to approach your child with empathy and help ensure that you’re informed about any issues right away.

5.  Mental Disorders

Children are prone to many mental disorders that can disrupt their day-to-day lives. This includes ADHD, obsessive-compulsive disorder, PTSD, bipolar disorder, depression, eating disorders, and more. It’s common for these issues to worsen when a child goes to school and is subject to peer pressure and group environments. The effects of the child’s condition are often mischaracterized as behavior problems.  The signs of a mental disorder vary widely depending on the type of disorder and how it manifests itself.

Don’t ignore changes in your child’s temperament or behavior.  Parents who think their children are affected by any of these issues should seek help from a qualified professional and communicate closely with the child’s school officials to ensure they get the help they need. Early and effective intervention gives children the best chances to overcome their challenges and become happy, healthy, and well-adjusted.