The end of the year holidays often bring a mixture of emotions for people. Excitement, hope and joy are all emotions we may experience as we look forward to seeing people we haven’t seen in a while, return to places we are connected to, and think of gifts to give to loved ones. The holidays bring unique experiences we wait all year for like baking special breads and preparing special foods, listening to music and singing songs unique to this time of year, decorating our homes with special lighting and meaningful items. The kids have an extended time out of school and those who are away often come home, vacations are planned and enjoyed. As a year is coming to an end, it’s also often a time for reflection and planning for the new year.

With so much going on, this can also be a time for sadness, disappointment, and stress. Perhaps this is the first holiday without a loved one. Seeing the empty place at the table or thinking of getting through the new year without someone to celebrate with can be painful. Homecomings can be fraught with tension and distress as old, unhealed hurts are poked again. Perhaps finances are tighter than before.

There is a lot of pressure at this time of year to produce something: post excellent year end numbers for work; present a model like appearance for a party; create an amazing holiday party; send out the perfect family holiday card; make sure each side of your family feels equally attended to. Beginning before Thanksgiving now there are constant messages to spend money and look happy. Whether the holiday season has a religious focus for you or not, we are bombarded by messages about making others happy through spending. Getting through this time of year with grace and ease is possible.

Beyond the religious element, there are many opportunities that come through the fall and winter. As the days get shorter, colder, darker, wetter, and grayer, we spend more time in doors. This offers us the opportunity to slow down and in slowing down, an opportunity to reflect and appreciate. Beginning with Thanksgiving, it’s a time to think about all those things you are grateful for: loved ones and friendship, health, community, purpose, activities you enjoy, and so much more. It doesn’t mean everything in your life or the world is perfect. It doesn’t mean denying that there isn’t much pain and injustice around us. It means that these good things are also true and it’s important to honor them as well. Spending time focusing on the good things in your life, even if the list seems filled with inconsequential things, will help cultivate a positive mood and a sense of calm.

As you spend less time out doing things, you are also presented with a great opportunity to reflect on your year and assess where you are in your life. Again, you may not be exactly where you thought you’d be or where you think you ought to be, but acknowledge those things you have learned, begun, or accomplished in the last year. And then you can begin thinking about where you would like to take your life in the upcoming year and ponder how you might achieve those goals. Remember to include lighthearted and fun goals as well. Cooking class? New garden bed design for your yard? Dance class? A travel adventure? See our blog post about SMART goal setting to stack the success cards in your favor. Again, creating a balance of goals that are challenging and goals that are fun will keep your life interesting and engaging.

Even if this is not a religious holiday for you, you can take a que from its celebratory nature. With all the gloomy dark and dampness, how do you want to make your home feel cozy? How do you want to acknowledge those who are most important to you with a joyous activity or meal? How might you cultivate a spirit of giving and generosity that will extend beyond the holidays? Have you taken time to examine and honor transformative moments in your life? What was it about those moments or about those people who came into your life that inspired you to see yourself differently and influenced the trajectory of your life? Take time to reflect on the learning and gifts of those moments/people and how you can continue to honor them and build on them in the upcoming year.

While your mood and energy levels may be influenced by the fall, winter and early spring weather in the Pacific Northwest and you may struggle with endless bombardment of commercials and holiday music, there are ways to bring your own take on the opportunities presented during this time. Intentionally engaging in those things that are meaningful to you, keeping realistic expectations about how various events will go, and balancing challenging things with joyous things will help you experience both ease and grace in your life. Enjoy!